maggiemaybaby

FUCK!

2008-07-26T03:53:01Z

shit...i ate too much today, i just had pasta! are you kidding? and ice cream last night!
going on a fast starting tomorrow and ending whenever i can't continue. i dont care anymore...no one else does.
im trying to feel something, looking for something, well GUESSE WHAT not eating=feeling something!
new plan, good plan. ill turn this boring summer into a transformation. excellent.
xoxo <3

BLAH

2008-07-18T20:55:56Z

I
AM
SO
ANGRY
WITH
MYSELF
RIGHT
NOW
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SEE MY FRIEND TODAY WHICH WOULD MEAN ID BE EATING, NO QUESTION, SO I HAD BREAKFAST RATHER THAN GO WITHOUT EATING AND THEN EAT MORE LATER WHEN I'D HAVE TO, BUT NOW IM NOT SEEING HER SO I ACTUALLY DIDNT HAVE TO EAT. SO OF COURSE NOW IM EATING MORE, THE FLOODGATES HAVE OPENED.
I was doing well earlier this week....not eating by myself, only with others when i couldnt get out of it. so much for that. but ill start over tomorrow, its a new day; new days are what i hold on to.

plan

2008-07-07T22:21:48Z

Monday: Lunch, no dinner, small low calorie snack/drink
Tuesday: No meals, just snacks, ONE meal tops
Wednesday: No meals, one snack, just drinks
Thursday: same as above
Friday: ONE meal tops
Saturday: coffee, protein bar, dinner only if NECESSARY
Sunday: Coffee, no meals please!
Monday: Coffee, snack, small salad for *****'s birthday dinner
Tuesday: No meals, one if NECESSARY (small)
ETC., ETC., ETC.

P.S.-- going to start DANCING AGAIN.

tomorrow

2008-04-10T03:41:55Z

TOMORROW'S SCHEDUAL(which I will stick to, i HAVE to)
breakfast: Lemonade
lunch: water, water, water
Afterschool I'm going home, grabbing some study stuff, and going to starbucks to do homework until about 5:30. I think I'll have a grande nonfat chai latte. Then I'm going home, changing my clothes, and going out at 6, and I'll probably get home around 9. Once I get home I am going to sleep!!!! NOT eating anything. Perfect plan...as long as I'm out of the house, I'm golden :)

I'm so dissapointed, I ate today....did FINE all day until like 6, and of course...I wasn't even hungry. But I didn't really binge, just ate. It doesn't matter though, it was disgusting and I just want to go to sleep because I cant live with this feeling in my stomach right now.
Goodnight<3

maggiemaybaby @ 2008-04-01T21:20:00

2008-04-02T04:22:33Z

I just ate dinner for my grandpa's birthday.
my grandparents are so over-protective of me, so I know there was no way i could even get away with eating only half of my salad. I love them so much. Especially my grandpa, who cant get through one dinner without talking about the food he'd eat during the Depression. haha. Anyways...I feel so disgusting. i dont want to sit here and be awake i just need to sleep and wake up and fast again.
GROSS GROSS GROSS FOOD.

DAY 1

2008-04-01T00:11:27Z

day 1 of my 5 day liquid fast...and so far so good!
Just got home and im not even going to LOOK in the kitchen. I'm going to do homework, then read my new Vogue(always good inspiration), then probably watch tv/come back online, then read Malcom X. Sounds good to me :)
<3

obsessed much?

2008-03-30T22:38:20Z

Some of my favorite Mary Kate pics and outfits(although there are WAY more than this :p)

she just has amazing style. she doesn't use a stylist, and I believe it completely works to her advantage. she is able to create outfits stylists would probably never choose for her, like dressing up a plain white T(above), and she looks fabulous. I really don't try to dress like her at all, but she does inspire me, especially the way she mixes chunky, dressy jewelry with worn-down vintage T's creating her own sort of casual-chic. ♥

maggiemaybaby @ 2008-03-30T12:43:00

2008-03-30T19:50:59Z

I CAN DO IT.
i know i can. i am stuck with this, so why try and ignore it there is no point! i am getting back on track...NOW. :)

tomorrow, and the next and the next...

2008-03-29T07:20:32Z

tomorrow: water water water! and a little bit of veggies

sunday: iced coffee w/nf milk and splenda, water, 100-200 cals of my choice
(probably rice cake w/ raw honey)

monday: rice cake w/raw honey, water, some peas and corn

tuesday: water, ....going out to dinner at cheesecake factory! ahhh that means bread and ill get the french country salad small

wednesday: tea, water, apple and other(strawberries or plum etc.)
we'll see how that goes!
I'll probably eat more on one of the days and then fast some others, we will see! but I CAN AND WILL STAY ON TRACK! I HAVE COMPLETE CONTROL.
ah, I can taste it now.

first thoughts

2008-03-09T08:08:38Z

I think I really need someone to talk to, who wont say the wrong things and who will just listen.
So here I am...
back again during another rough patch.

Oh, the symbols.